My favorite coffee brand is Meth Coffee because it doesn’t taste burnt like Tarbucks, it has a mellow smooth flavor, and the super-caffeinated Arabica beans and Yerba Mate buck my ass up without the nervous shakes. Plus they’re a supporter of drug and alcohol recovery groups like the Comedy Addiction Tour. If caffeine is your favorite drug, try it.
If you’d rather drink poopoo and kaka, pick up a bag of Paradise Coffee, which is made from beans that’ve been eaten and shat out of an Asian Palm Civet’s butt. I’m serious. Civet coffee, a.k.a. Kopi Luwak, is the most expensive coffee bean in the world at $160/pound, and who can resist? Just read the alluring description on the Paradise web site:
“It has a rich, heavy flavour with hints of chocolate . . . the body is almost syrupy.”
Damn straight—it plopped out of a mongoose rodent’s ass!
Yum. I know what I’ll be drinking the next time I watch 2 Girls, 1 Cup.
January 14th, 2010 at 7:26 pm
[...] the poop on crazy coffee [...]
September 10th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
it’s the good shit. It’s so good; you’ll never buy regular coffee again.
Listen: Coffee is great. Yerba Mate is great. Mix them together and it tastes…just like coffee. Good COffee, too.
What’s cool about meth coffee? 1) two stimulants and 2) just like the douchie tech geek mentioned above, yerba has as a soothing come down. meaning: you won’t get the coffee jitters when the caffeine wears off. these meth coffee people knew what they were brewing. good shit, man. Meaning Good Flavored COFFEE with a Kick! Save the calories for your donuts not on sugared colas. Coffee over cola means less farts, less sugar, and less calories.
My bolemic cousin loves this coffee because she can study while not getting hungry. Her and her hotty friends keep drinking my fucking meth coffee. plus, yeah, it does have a slight “hue” of cocao. not flavoring of cocao – just a hint of it or it’s my imagination going crazy as i see my cousin and her hotty friends drinking my coffee and studying on my bed.
that’s another reason why the girlies like this coffee. fuck my cousin’s friends drink it too; they ain’t bolemic, but they all watch their fucking carbs and calories and they say this is the shit to keep your energy up without the calories. dude: good looking chicks who study at UCLA who would’ve thunk it. they won’t touch a diet coke. I tell them to have the diet soda. they tell me to fuck off and reach for my meth coffee. Bolemic or just obsessive about watching your weight it seems hotties and geeks alike like my coffee discovery. Fuck. How can you say no to your cousin’s asain, puerto rican and italian hotties who want to drink your coffee? Shit, and these bitches get good grades, too.
Fuck me. I can’t figure this shit out. I got a pretzel in my head. Go meth coffee. Can I get a free bag? Cuz the hotties keep stealing my meth coffee.
September 7th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Love this stuff; I’m 45 code in PHP, SQL, and yes all the dot net shit that sucks. But whatever platform I code in, be unix or dot net crap I love meth coffee.
Here’s why: Fresh Aribica beans sprinkled with Yerba Mate and no Calories like Mountain Dew. It also has hues of cocoa and hazel – not flavored – just there naturally.
Why do I drink this instead of Mountain Dew? Because when you’re 45 and coding day and night, you can’t afford the calories, sugar, and carbs. These 3 attributes lead to fat, diabetes, and more fat.
If your ask why not Diet Mountain instead of Meth Coffee: I’ll say to you – I sit at a desk coding for 10 hours straight on some days and the carbonation of any soft drink, especially the diet ones cause me to fart, or when company is around, I do an implode fart. Meaning: I hold the fart in too long and it makes that blubbling sound in which it exploded back into your stomach. To apologize for the imploding fart sound with my other fellow coders I inevitably have to say: “Guess I’m getting hungry, huh.”
Everyone knows it’s a lie, because they all do the implosion fart when they do the “Dew – diet or non-diet” to keep from dozing off.
So, a fellow coder offered me this super jolt fresh coffee, named, Meth Coffee. Too stimulants in one good tasting coffee. Yerba Mate is the South American equivalent to our morning coffee. This brand combines the coffee been with the super essence of Yerba Mate which gets your motor running for hours.
But you know what? When you come down for the buzz, it’s more peaceful than a M. Dew or normal coffee. The yerba mate soothes the come down.
Really this fucker knows what he’s talking about when he says try meth coffee it’s worth every dollar; tastes better than starfucks, and is a bit cheaper per ounce.
Here’s the link: the company markets themselves as whackados but the coffee is very good and keeps you going.
Try it dude: http://www.methcoffee.com