Last night I was competing in the Rooster T. Feathers comedy competition in Sunnyvale. Go if you can. The club is old school (reminded me of Hollywood’s Comedy Store) — warm, pro, and one of the friendliest I’ve seen.
While waiting for the show to start, I saw Larry “Bubbles” Brown walking around — hilarious, been on Letterman, etc. I overheard somebody say he was headlining.
Later, a friend asked me who was headlining, so I said, “Larry Bubbles Brown.”
“No, I am headlining,” said a man next to me. I looked at him, but didn’t recognize him. I later found out he was Dan St. Paul — Comedy Central, MTV, opened for Seinfeld, did a movie with Robin Williams….
But I didn’t know this. So of course, being an idiot, I said:
……..“And who are you?”
He belly laughed and grimaced painfully.
Because I am an idiot.
Let this be a lesson.
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Hey You!
Someone lost their ganaz. I’m puerto rican and i got to tell you wich-boy that you lost them taking the fly stuff off.
Hey. I love animals. I’m an admin. assistant for PETA and I believe 99.9% in what they believe in, but some of my 8 bosses can be nazi bitches.
I believe animals shouldn’t be harmed.
I have a boy friend who eats fish and an occasional turkey sandwich. I’m down with that. God gave animals to the humans for work and survival.
What I don’t like is fucking with animals for humor or makeup and whatever. that shit is fucked.
but what is also fucked is that you took your little fly thingy off because some activist group got all up your ass. see, that shit i don’t like either. my boss is fucked. when she see’s a spider, that’s large she’ll pick it up and put it outside. the bitch will put it in a cup and then take the elevator with an ugly ass spider and 9 flights down an elevator just to let little itsy bitsy back in some flower bed next to our building. she could’ve flushed the fucker down the toilet and had her ass on the phone talking to some lobbyists about saving whales, dogs or whatever from be tested/tortured. all that time wasted for a fucking spider that now has the opportunity to bite some young kid playing in the flower garden.
stupid bitch my boss. whatz that saying? you gotta see the tree from the forest or some such shit. i think my boss needs to chill on taking care of itsy bitsy spiders, flies, and mosquitos that carry a function for God, but may also pass some fucked up diseases like malaria around that can hurt humans. that dumb bitch of a boss. she should be on the phones taking care of larger issues like domestic animal abuse and fucked up testing on animals for cosmetic bullshit.
i saw your show. i liked the teddy bear routine where you talk about getting hit on by another man. do gays really have lingo like that. ah, WHITE PEOPLE!
February 25th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
since i stair a lot at things, sometimes i notice things – visually – that others don’t. Do you have a pointing arrow icon pointing at your crouch.
trust me. I’m a hetero starer not a homo starer. I like to stair at nipples not pointy penis icons, I swear. Yes, I promise! I’m a hetero perve not a homo perve. please believe me.
believe me; believe me; believe me. I’ve got ocd. so that’s why i stare. not all ocd people stare, but some find it an outlet compulsion like me. plus I’d like to repeat, many times, why my students were dumb, to their parents.
i don’t think i have a personality disorder, I was just really honest to the parents of the kids I taught. Plus, I liked staring at nipples. It’s unfair that people can walk around with mid-riffs, ultra short skirts, and clothing that looks like all the structural integrity and elasticity has been washed away. Females just shouldn’t wear that shit around their teachers. It was a violation of the dress code that other teachers didn’t enforce. So why should I. That Juicy Couture just showed everything and didn’t hold things in form. I’m was a geometry teacher that was obsessed with form. when things jiggle and don’t keep their form and makes me 1) irritated and 2) i need to stare at the mess that has no form.
it’s not my fault that I told parents how a “d” usually means their kids are not smart in math. and that their kids should shoot for a second tier califonnia state school like Cal State. You know, where the mexicans go and kids who refuse to take the SAT go to become even more dumb.
But anyway. I’m just a starer who has ocd, but i did not have a personality problem nor did i rub people the wrong way. I know how to get a long with my peers.
THOSE LITTLE BITCHES. WHY COULDN’T they come to school WEARING BRAs. THen I wouldn’t stare so much and become so angry and then i wouldn’t have to say how dumb their kids were. Now I’m angry. IT’S nOt my Fault. NOT MY FAULT NOT MY FAULT NOT MY FAULT. I was a good…no GREAT Teacher, and I could get along with my peer group. I fit in. I have people skills. I just stare sometimes is all. Ok maybe above the norm. I’m an outlier. I taught stat also. Ok I’m an outlier of a math teacher that 1) likes; I mean doesn’t like to stare at nipples but rather I’m compelled to because of my love of form and my annoyance to a lack thereof (because a bra is not being used) due to my ocd compulsions. And, 2) my &^*#@ rises when I stare at nipples. only female nipples. braille nips turn to smooth platters when the sun hits.
molecules expand with heat and contract when its cold. i like braille and I like dish plates. I don’t know what make my &^%%$ rise more. I should’ve created a frequency chart.
February 25th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
dude:
what r u worried about. the link you have showing who this guy is… don’t even know him. some long tv skit; kinda reminded me of steve colbert, but way too long; and really not much of a point. the tv bit could’ve been shaven like my wife’s beep-beep to keep the tempo snappy for the audience. plus, since i don’t remember the guy; let’s call him an eighth famous. I’m a retired math teacher. did it for one year because teenagers are little bitches that you want to smack. they all look like your caricature on the free sticker. semi-wry cockie smile that you kinda wanted to smack after your 3rd week of teaching these hoodlums.
I’m ranting like a little bitch. Plus, I shouldn’t complain. I taught math in the most richest whitest area of the country – Corona Del Mar HS.
Don’t know who this dude is that you are so afraid that you offended. He ain’t no steve colbert, but at least he doesn’t have that shit eatin’ grin that you have on your sticker.
Dig the nipple stuff though. I think that’s why I left teaching. Or why “they” didn’t want me back at CDM. I think when many nipples are dripping out of Juicy Couture’s 2 things happen: 1) Eyes start to stair and 2) !@##(*& start to rise.
Honk – Honk. Whacka Whacka
February 24th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
I’ve seen you before, and I’m not even in stand up. You’ve got a lot of good shit and you make people laugh. Your style is solid and your timing good.
So what that you didn’t recognize who you “should’ve” recognized. I got news for ya scotch: the world is full of half famous people. Plus, your adrenalin was goin’; you were high on the moment before performin’ – so you were focusing on the joy of it all. and, you were focusing on how you were to perform.
So, cut your self a break. No big faux paux.( sp?)
You got a good site; your jokes are good; I’ve gotten some good laughs from your shit during a hard week; so chill on the self deprecating I’m a bone head shit. No, you’re no bone head, but you are one big boner! My silly attempt at being a comedian. See, hard to do. And I’m behind a computer.
So, cut yourself a break.