Come laugh it up with me and pals this Wednesday Jan. 19 @ 8PM at the Red Rock Bar and Eatery on Sunset in West Hollywood, just a stone’s throw from the Viper Room. Only $5 and no drink minimum! www.redrocksunset.com
Anddddd for you tequila freaks, I’m performing next Friday Jan. 28 @ 9:30PM at Malo, a kick-ass little cantina in Silverlake (malorestaurant.com). The lineup looks hilarious, and includes Josh Adam Meyers, who starred as Pizza Delivery Guy #1 in Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Don’t miss it!
January 29th, 2011 at 11:34 pm
Yes, but he needs his Webmaster to filter some things out. I can only read the future, but if his fat ass webmaster who doesn’t wipe his ass after he takes a shit doesn’t do some censuring, and I mean pronto, the Scientologists are coming after him and his big shnoz. He’ll be blacklisted at the very least by Universal.
January 29th, 2011 at 11:32 pm
Wait. I don’t get it. I thought it was you, Lana who was discussing Scientology?
January 29th, 2011 at 11:30 pm
Yes, but only if this is his last Scientology crack. Scientology is somewhat imbued in Universal Pictures and that’s not a fucking joke.
January 29th, 2011 at 11:29 pm
Lana?
Does Scotch make it big in Hollywood?
January 29th, 2011 at 11:24 pm
Wait a second. I know I’m not alive within the temporal plane of existence anymore, but I believe my name was Lana Clarkson when I was in my human form, right? OK. Enough of the dumb blond jokes. Yes, I was blond but only through coloring.
Oh – now that I’m no longer human, God told me the right religion was Scientology! It’s no scam, kids. If it’s good enough for God it’s good enough for you. I did however ask God if I had become a Scientologist (I was tempted in 1991 but thought it was a scam at the time) would I have made it to be an A-List movie actress. He said no, but I would’ve been David Miscavige’s mistress and he would’ve set me up in my own Beverly Hill’s Condo as his friend away from the wife along with a hefty bank account.
God told me that I would’ve tried to get out of the relationship by threatening him with a tell all book deal with Warner books in the early 2000′s if he didn’t divorce his wife and marry me. At that point God mentioned that Miscaviage would’ve had a few of his Sea Org members kill me in Hemitt, California (within the major Scientology Compound ) and had me cremated in his house within the compound.
I asked God if a religious leader that’s so sociopathic in nature was actually the right and true religion. God told me that the leader of a religion itself and the religion are mutually exclusive. Meaning the religion is perfect but the leader isn’t. Go figure.
By the way: Tom Cruise is bi. He masturbates to a three way with Katie all the time. He’s getting fucked in the ass by Katie with a strap on while he’s playing tummy sticks with a stunt double on the set of Mission Impossible I that he’s had a crush on since 1995.
Heaven does has it’s perks. You get to watch the world and read people’s minds and intentions. Cool.
January 29th, 2011 at 11:01 pm
I wan’t married to him, Yo-Yo Yiggady Douche bag. He picked me up while I was working in the house of blues, as a waitress one night. I let him fuck me without a condemn and then I told him I needed a few thousand dollars. He laughed and told me to fuck myself “darling”. I then told him I’d go to the cops tell them you date raped me and then get a big trial and a book deal out of it. He then shot my B-Movie ass.
Ah: the breaks. I’m dead. He did get a big celebrity trial and now he’s in prison. Bottom Line Kids, this is a cautionary tale: when Hollywood spits you out or never lets you in your only way to make a buck in entertainment again is to work in porn, become a stripper, maybe get a cred or two in a cinemax soft porn movie, or become a waitress in the town that keeps dangling a carrot but never quite gives it to you – or go the fly back home and find a nice average guy and marry him. That’s life kids. That’s all it is.
January 29th, 2011 at 10:39 pm
Pizza Delivery Guy # 1 for the Kardashians Reality TV show – WHAT a FUCKING Draw Card – Wooooooooooo!
Webmaster/PR Guy: just tell me the fuckin’ name of the douche bag comedian and be done with it. I mean with a name like Josh Adam Meyers, my Goy instinct would tell me that if the guy’s Jewish – he’s got a decent shot a being funny.
But – telling me the comedian’s name and the minuscule job he “played” on a cable reality TV show as his the ultimate credential for me coming to see his stand up gig at some unknown restaurant way down on the strip is kinda like telling me that I should see his stand up gig because he knows a guy who knows a guy who shook hands with Phil Spector (the heavy hitter music producer dude with weird hair who was convicted in 2009 for killing his wife Lana Clarkson).
Actually: if you did insert in the marquee that Josh Adam Myers knows a guy who knows a guy who shook hands with Phil Spector, that actually might have been a better draw for me seeing Josh Adam Myers this past Friday Night rather than stating he played Pizza Delivery Guy number 1 in the Kardashians. Hell, if you told me he played Pizza Delivery Guy #1 in (any said 1970′s PORNO Film goes here) I might be more inclined to see his stand up than his current credit of having some cheap forgetful role on a cable reality show.