Inspired by my crazy adventures as a performer on the road,
this is the story
of two performance artists who cook up the ultimate performance: to kidnap their
billionaire boss...and turn him into the wildest
performance artist the world's ever seen.
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, December 24th, 2008 at 4:43 pm and is filed under Funny, Performance art, Torture.
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16 Responses to “God Bless Public Access Television”
Since I know you, I’m not going to comment on the litany of performance art literature and movies that you want me to read; I read other authors and get into other things.
Much of life is building one’s own cognitive-mental constructs. Right now, in this point in my life, things like performance art, dada, surrealism, john cage, noise as music, dissonance, kitsch, art brut, and flilms from harmony corine aren’t going to pump up my pecker. if bukowski who is somewhat more of a mainstreamish alt. lifestyle writer doesn’t get me going, along with those crappola P.A.T. Vids -that REALLY Lack Asthetic Value- then I have a feeling these obscure fellows and artistic domains that you describe aren’t going to rock my world.
However, with that being said, I do believe that those domains and artists have given you impetus into creating and doing some wonderful things in your life! I can say this because I know that you have a fantastic job outside of this website and your comedy routine that has a great deal of importance. Without the particular skill set that you bring to your 9-5 job – people wouldn’t have access to their money anytime they wanted to go to an ATM, nor would one of the world’s largest b. in the world be able to survive if it didn’t have access to your superior knowledge of internet security.
Secondly: the fact that you have been able to create an elite piece of software that Steve Jobs and Apple have been trying to get you to sell to them for the last two years, and the fact that you create ART that grooves with the mainstream tells me that you have been inspired by stuff that I would call junk/shit/manure and have made things in the realm of artistic electronic media that I actually do find extremely watch worthy.
So, what I think of as shit and what you think of as talent; and, that “talent” which has galvanized your superior creativity in the business and art world of writing and electronic media has made you talented in my opinion.
As a dude who digs eastern philosophy I’ll try to make a trite little diddy/summary of what I’ve been trying to say above: manure helps the rose grow. so, manure is a good thing. if i see your talent as rose worthy (which I do) then you as the rose like your manure because it has helped you to grow. But, if you think I’m going to take home the rose home along with the manure – you’re fucking crazy – and need to take some vitamins.
No, I’ll just take the rose home and leave the manure where it is.
and to ‘from a friend’ below re: PBS, i appreciate your commentary, but the videos i published are from PUBLIC ACCESS TELEVISION — see the title of the post — not PBS. PBS is a pro run organization with great programs like NOVA. public access, i guess you’re unaware, is local airtime given to anyone willing to go on camera in a local TV station. a lot of national programs got their start working out the bugs in public access, but you also get bands performing, local talk shows, video of local government, dance and other live art, experimental shows, you name it. you don’t tune into public access television with the same expectations you would have tuning into PBS. which is exactly the beauty of public access — anyone can go on and do what they want, provided it doesn’t break any laws. so your arguments about PBS, blah blah, make no sense. so here’s the sound of my toilet flushing.
regarding the content, it’s exactly the type of hypnotic content you would see on public access TV, in no small part because that is where it was captured. i totally accept that you think it’s “shit” and “moronic.” all i can say is it’s too bad you can’t see the irony, humor, and aesthetic value in those videos. this just means you’re ignorant, which isn’t a crime. go read some books on performance art, dada, surrealism, john cage, noise as music, dissonance, kitsch, and especially art brut, and then get back to me. and watch a few films by harmony korine while you’re at it. you obviously haven’t been eating your vegetables, and eating shit doesn’t count.
sigh. i thught we’d been through this before, but we’ll do it again. this site, like many, makes use of anti-spam filters. if you use my name, or insert any link, your comment gets held for approval, and i approval all comments, if you’ll kindly give me enough time to get to a computer — hence the text COMMENTS ARE MODERATED & MAY NOT APPEAR RIGHT AWAY right above the comments text box. are you blind? you cycling like a freak until i can push the button doesn’t get them approved any faster–it just makes you look like a petulant child who’s wetting himself and screaming because he doesn’t understand why the box won’t work. i hope you’re not like that with all things, but if so, your loss. if i turn filtering off, i immediately begin getting hundreds of spam posts a day, all of which i have to delete by hand, which is a waste of my time, just as this post is. if you’d paid attention to your own posts, you would’ve noticed that the only 3 that didn’t immediately appear were those that either had my name inside, or a URL inside. all the others appeared, even the ones where you accuse me of all kinds of nasty shit. now why would i allow the really nasty comments in, but not the benign comments concerning your opinion on public TV? that doesn’t really make sense, does it? which posting was not like the other, then? the ones with the URL and my name inside, johnny. so if you are unable to WAIT for me to approve, don’t use my name and don’t post URLs. very simple. now go change your diaper.
taking comments out?
2 have been taken out within five minutes.
both comments were benign. and the first one that was put in several hours ago was very benign – with the exception that it was a refutation of the last comment made by “Scotch”.
of “From a Friend”. His or her’s latest comment was taken out by the webmaster or the Mr. Wichmann himself. Poor play. The rules of the house, suck!
I don’t grab the mic out of your hand if I don’t like what you’re saying on stage! I thought you were a cool libertarian. I guess some libertarians aren’t into free speech as much as I thought.
I guess the Dems have to pick up the slack and support the 1st amendment. Libertarian: the Pussy Party that dislikes free speech – or is it just Mr. Wichmann?
I disagree, Scotch. Yes, I made a judgmental statement that albeit was -subjective- as all judgments, but I think it was warranted. You, I believe like this type of programming because it seems to be in the domain of “performance art”. But in reality, it is cheesy sub-moronic shit.
Public Television (the PBS domain and its viable affiliates) are known for there quality series and specials. PBS puts in high quality producers to create high quality informational, educational, entertaining and thought provoking programs. The crap up above, does not fall under of any of the attributes I just described.
Obviously, this is one man’s opinion; and my opinion like everyone else is subjective. However, if you were to take a poll of whether or not people thought those two videos that you are airing fall under the category of “good quality programming” I would venture to say that an overwhelming majority of PBS/PBS affiliate watchers would not say those 2 videos fall under the category of “good quality programming”.
Though polls only represent and describe opinions; one could infer that those collective opinions probably mean something and should be taken heed. And though your only argument back would most likely be to say that those collective opinions are still subjective, as you would try to grasp for a weak as argument to refute my opinion, I would just smile at you and let you have the last word.
are you fuckin kiddin me? i LOVE public television — it’s the only TV that would ever have me! ha. i posted those gems because they’re hilarious, ironic, and beautiful — unique individuals doing fascinating things. i made an mp3 of the fellow with the moaning cat instrument and keep playing it over and over. put those people in a gallery and they’d pass as high performance art. they are the very reason i *do* watch public access over cable. i made no judgement in my post, but you certainly did. the fact that you call them “shit” betrays sadly mainstream tastes.
Though you most likely dislike public tv and public radio – because you have a bent towards the conservative mind set in many instances (the one’s that are convenient to you), the crap that you are exposing is like using the cowardly vice of stacking the deck.
In other words, the shit up above is a rarity. Public television is the last bastion of good TV – TV that educates and inspires young and old. The crap above represents a few needles of asininity that don’t represent the tone and general demographic of the public television viewer nor public radio listener.
I truly think you want people to watch your stand up show so much, that you’ll attack the last bastion of quality tv.
No, what you should do is attack neanderthal television like E, Bravo, ABC, NBC, MSNBC, FOX, and even CNN is up for grabs.
Schmuck: don’t attack the good, attack the bad.
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January 16th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
My favorite liquor is bourbon, not scotch, nor Scotch. the dude Scotch is cool, though.
January 16th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Since I know you, I’m not going to comment on the litany of performance art literature and movies that you want me to read; I read other authors and get into other things.
Much of life is building one’s own cognitive-mental constructs. Right now, in this point in my life, things like performance art, dada, surrealism, john cage, noise as music, dissonance, kitsch, art brut, and flilms from harmony corine aren’t going to pump up my pecker. if bukowski who is somewhat more of a mainstreamish alt. lifestyle writer doesn’t get me going, along with those crappola P.A.T. Vids -that REALLY Lack Asthetic Value- then I have a feeling these obscure fellows and artistic domains that you describe aren’t going to rock my world.
However, with that being said, I do believe that those domains and artists have given you impetus into creating and doing some wonderful things in your life! I can say this because I know that you have a fantastic job outside of this website and your comedy routine that has a great deal of importance. Without the particular skill set that you bring to your 9-5 job – people wouldn’t have access to their money anytime they wanted to go to an ATM, nor would one of the world’s largest b. in the world be able to survive if it didn’t have access to your superior knowledge of internet security.
Secondly: the fact that you have been able to create an elite piece of software that Steve Jobs and Apple have been trying to get you to sell to them for the last two years, and the fact that you create ART that grooves with the mainstream tells me that you have been inspired by stuff that I would call junk/shit/manure and have made things in the realm of artistic electronic media that I actually do find extremely watch worthy.
So, what I think of as shit and what you think of as talent; and, that “talent” which has galvanized your superior creativity in the business and art world of writing and electronic media has made you talented in my opinion.
As a dude who digs eastern philosophy I’ll try to make a trite little diddy/summary of what I’ve been trying to say above: manure helps the rose grow. so, manure is a good thing. if i see your talent as rose worthy (which I do) then you as the rose like your manure because it has helped you to grow. But, if you think I’m going to take home the rose home along with the manure – you’re fucking crazy – and need to take some vitamins.
No, I’ll just take the rose home and leave the manure where it is.
-t
January 16th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
You are right; if Waynes World (the mock SNL public access program) got on to P.A.T., then why shouldn’t the above tards?
Yes: you are right, I did not see the title and jumped right in to my own mistake!
So, heir W_____, I apologize for confusing P.A.T. with PBS and giving you a mess of shit about my title confusion.
January 16th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
What name did “Two’s company” use to describe “your” actions!
I see the name starting with “S” and ending with “h”.
The fact is, I am Two’s company, and Two’s C comment wasn’t taken out.
So the fact that you’re saying that the “S____tch” word is a filter word doesn’t seem to fly with the facts. Hmmm.
FLUSH; Swirl; now jiggle the handle! Oops, still won’t go down. Why? Facts don’t go down the drain like shit – they are rather stubborn things.
January 16th, 2009 at 8:59 am
and to ‘from a friend’ below re: PBS, i appreciate your commentary, but the videos i published are from PUBLIC ACCESS TELEVISION — see the title of the post — not PBS. PBS is a pro run organization with great programs like NOVA. public access, i guess you’re unaware, is local airtime given to anyone willing to go on camera in a local TV station. a lot of national programs got their start working out the bugs in public access, but you also get bands performing, local talk shows, video of local government, dance and other live art, experimental shows, you name it. you don’t tune into public access television with the same expectations you would have tuning into PBS. which is exactly the beauty of public access — anyone can go on and do what they want, provided it doesn’t break any laws. so your arguments about PBS, blah blah, make no sense. so here’s the sound of my toilet flushing.
regarding the content, it’s exactly the type of hypnotic content you would see on public access TV, in no small part because that is where it was captured. i totally accept that you think it’s “shit” and “moronic.” all i can say is it’s too bad you can’t see the irony, humor, and aesthetic value in those videos. this just means you’re ignorant, which isn’t a crime. go read some books on performance art, dada, surrealism, john cage, noise as music, dissonance, kitsch, and especially art brut, and then get back to me. and watch a few films by harmony korine while you’re at it. you obviously haven’t been eating your vegetables, and eating shit doesn’t count.
January 16th, 2009 at 8:40 am
sigh. i thught we’d been through this before, but we’ll do it again. this site, like many, makes use of anti-spam filters. if you use my name, or insert any link, your comment gets held for approval, and i approval all comments, if you’ll kindly give me enough time to get to a computer — hence the text COMMENTS ARE MODERATED & MAY NOT APPEAR RIGHT AWAY right above the comments text box. are you blind? you cycling like a freak until i can push the button doesn’t get them approved any faster–it just makes you look like a petulant child who’s wetting himself and screaming because he doesn’t understand why the box won’t work. i hope you’re not like that with all things, but if so, your loss. if i turn filtering off, i immediately begin getting hundreds of spam posts a day, all of which i have to delete by hand, which is a waste of my time, just as this post is. if you’d paid attention to your own posts, you would’ve noticed that the only 3 that didn’t immediately appear were those that either had my name inside, or a URL inside. all the others appeared, even the ones where you accuse me of all kinds of nasty shit. now why would i allow the really nasty comments in, but not the benign comments concerning your opinion on public TV? that doesn’t really make sense, does it? which posting was not like the other, then? the ones with the URL and my name inside, johnny. so if you are unable to WAIT for me to approve, don’t use my name and don’t post URLs. very simple. now go change your diaper.
January 15th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
taking comments out?
2 have been taken out within five minutes.
both comments were benign. and the first one that was put in several hours ago was very benign – with the exception that it was a refutation of the last comment made by “Scotch”.
Poor Play; Poor Rules!
January 15th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
2 comments were taken out within the last five minutes?
FRee Speech? my ass.
Benign comments and perspectives shouldn’t be taken out just because they don’t groove from Scotch W’s perspective.
Grow a pair.
From,
A friend, supporter, and major comment contributor
January 15th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Taking comments out -
Sucks donkey dicks
from planet Bullshit
from the Galaxy of Ugly Anus
January 15th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
You are truly a disappointment to us all Mr. Burgundy.
January 15th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
of “From a Friend”. His or her’s latest comment was taken out by the webmaster or the Mr. Wichmann himself. Poor play. The rules of the house, suck!
I don’t grab the mic out of your hand if I don’t like what you’re saying on stage! I thought you were a cool libertarian. I guess some libertarians aren’t into free speech as much as I thought.
I guess the Dems have to pick up the slack and support the 1st amendment. Libertarian: the Pussy Party that dislikes free speech – or is it just Mr. Wichmann?
January 15th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to???
It’s my bat and I’ll take it home if I don’t like the ump’s call???
Libertarianism equals the lack of free speech?
Que Paso mi AMIGA?
January 15th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Last comment taken out?
WHAT THE FUCK, Esse.
January 15th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
I disagree, Scotch. Yes, I made a judgmental statement that albeit was -subjective- as all judgments, but I think it was warranted. You, I believe like this type of programming because it seems to be in the domain of “performance art”. But in reality, it is cheesy sub-moronic shit.
Public Television (the PBS domain and its viable affiliates) are known for there quality series and specials. PBS puts in high quality producers to create high quality informational, educational, entertaining and thought provoking programs. The crap up above, does not fall under of any of the attributes I just described.
Obviously, this is one man’s opinion; and my opinion like everyone else is subjective. However, if you were to take a poll of whether or not people thought those two videos that you are airing fall under the category of “good quality programming” I would venture to say that an overwhelming majority of PBS/PBS affiliate watchers would not say those 2 videos fall under the category of “good quality programming”.
Though polls only represent and describe opinions; one could infer that those collective opinions probably mean something and should be taken heed. And though your only argument back would most likely be to say that those collective opinions are still subjective, as you would try to grasp for a weak as argument to refute my opinion, I would just smile at you and let you have the last word.
January 4th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
are you fuckin kiddin me? i LOVE public television — it’s the only TV that would ever have me! ha. i posted those gems because they’re hilarious, ironic, and beautiful — unique individuals doing fascinating things. i made an mp3 of the fellow with the moaning cat instrument and keep playing it over and over. put those people in a gallery and they’d pass as high performance art. they are the very reason i *do* watch public access over cable. i made no judgement in my post, but you certainly did. the fact that you call them “shit” betrays sadly mainstream tastes.
January 4th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Though you most likely dislike public tv and public radio – because you have a bent towards the conservative mind set in many instances (the one’s that are convenient to you), the crap that you are exposing is like using the cowardly vice of stacking the deck.
In other words, the shit up above is a rarity. Public television is the last bastion of good TV – TV that educates and inspires young and old. The crap above represents a few needles of asininity that don’t represent the tone and general demographic of the public television viewer nor public radio listener.
I truly think you want people to watch your stand up show so much, that you’ll attack the last bastion of quality tv.
No, what you should do is attack neanderthal television like E, Bravo, ABC, NBC, MSNBC, FOX, and even CNN is up for grabs.
Schmuck: don’t attack the good, attack the bad.