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Two Performance Artists book by Scotch Wichmann
Two Performance Artists Kidnap Their Boss And Do Things With Him
Inspired by my crazy adventures as a performer on the road, this is the story of two performance artists who cook up the ultimate performance: to kidnap their billionaire boss...and turn him into the wildest performance artist the world's ever seen.

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A True Ghost Story
October 31, 2012 4:00 pm

I had my most intense ghost experience in 1990 during my freshman year in college. My roommate and I were studying one night when our dorm room suddenly became freezing cold, even though the city was a sweltering 80 degrees and we had no air conditioning. The nerves in my skin started buzzing—like TV snow—as if I’d suddenly been draped by an invisible blanket of static electricity. I looked up from my book just in time to see a man standing in our room. Our room’s door was locked, yet somehow he’d gotten in without a sound, and now there he was, obscuring the entire door with his wide 6’5 frame. He was opaque and dark—a shadow man—with no discernible features except for two glowing yellow eyes. I glanced at my roommate, who was staring at the door with his mouth and eyes wide open, unable to speak. I looked back at the door again and the figure was gone. I asked, “Did you see that?” And my roommate replied, “The eyes!” Doubting myself, I glanced down at my book, and to my shock, saw an afterglow of the man on the white of the page—an after-image burned onto my retinas like a camera flash. I looked to the left, then the right, and the image moved with my gaze. How was that possible, if what we’d seen hadn’t emitted some kind of energy?

The man continued visiting us over the next two weeks with increasing frequency. Every time he appeared, my roommate and I would feel our room go abuzz with cold static and our hair would stand up. The static energy was so powerful that we could tell where the man was in our building—even if he was at the far end of the hall, we could feel where his energy was coming from in the same way you can feel the Sun’s heat with your eyes shut. The man visited at all hours, including the dead of night, until we started losing sleep. The cold static was rubbing my nerves raw to the point that I felt hypersensitive to the thoughts and emotions of others. When the static was around, I gained a measurable amount of psychic awareness, and my roommate was having the same experience. For fun, one of us would draw a picture, then focus on it intently, to see if the other could pick up on the thoughts and draw the same picture. The results were uncanny; again and again, with increasing accuracy, we were able to reach each other’s thoughts. The other students in the dorm thought we were possibly insane, but they couldn’t argue with the fact that our arm hair was standing up, and that we seemed able to know what the other was thinking in test after test.

I had my first out of body experience during this time of raw nervousness. One evening while walking up a path to our dorm building from class, I felt a surge of “jangly nerves”—an energy that seemed to come up from the ground and wash over me—and suddenly I was flying, like a Chinese dragon with a long tail that was still attached to my physical body. My dragon-spirit “body” flew up the path to the dorm, down the hall, and up the stairs to a small living room where I saw my friends sitting around talking. Then, in a flash, my spirit retracted, slamming back into my body. All of this had occurred in the blink of an eye. Not sure if what I’d experienced had been real, I ran to the dorm, down the hall, and up the stairs to the living room, where I found everyone—all the students I’d seen in my vision were there—except one woman, Laura, was standing, while in my vision I’d seen her sitting. I asked her, “Were you just sitting on that couch a second ago?” To which she answered, “Yes. Why?” So it was true: I’d visited the living room before I’d arrived.

After 2 weeks, my roommate and I couldn’t take it anymore. Our nerves were fried, and we were averaging 2-3 hours of sleep per night. Desperate, I researched everything I could find on exorcism, cleansing, repelling ghosts, you name it. I finally settled on a series of shamanic rituals that involved communicating with the ghost, and relocating him. I chose the ground outside of the dorm as his new intended home. Naked and alone in the dark of the dorm room, I carried out the exhausting ritual over several hours, during which the ghost communicated that he was lost. I reassured him that his new home in the earth would be comforting, and less disruptive to everyone around him. He agreed to be bound to his new home, which I sealed by burying a jar in the dirt right outside of our dorm building (which, appropriately, was called “the Shire” in the Middle Earth housing complex on the campus of U.C. Irvine). I walked back inside the dorm building, and felt a quiet sense of peace—the static energy was gone, and never returned while we lived there.

Several years later (around 1996, I think), a friend who knew the above story handed me a copy of the university’s newspaper, which included a news article about the incident. The reporter had written that the Shire was apparently experiencing a haunting, and that the ghost bore a resemblance to a ghost encountered several years earlier during which a “shaman had been brought in” to exorcise the building. The story detailed the exorcism—including the burying of the spirit in the dirt—and then said that recent building construction around the Shire had no doubt released the ghost back into the wild….

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On the Radio This Week with Cirque du Soleil Clown John Gilkey
October 18, 2012 9:26 pm

I got the chance to interview John Gilkey in his Hollywood backyard this week. If you’ve ever seen Cirque Du Soleil or the Oscar-winning movie Ratatouille, then you’ve seen John Gilkey’s amazing work. A clown and performer for over 30 years who’s performed for over 3 million people, and a creative force behind the comedy in Cirque shows like QUIDAM, DRALION, VAREKAI, and most recently, the IRIS show in Hollywood, John has incredible things to say about clowns—their comedy, their danger, their anarchy, and their truth—and why we need them more than ever. Hear it this Sunday on Jimmy’s Potpourri, LA’s #1 underground radio station. Tune in from 9AM till noon online from anywhere at www.killradio.org

 UPDATE: the John Gilkey interviews are up on Soundcloud. Listen below!

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On Radio Sunday 9am-Noon with Bukowski Recordings
October 5, 2012 9:23 am

I guess I’m on a Bukowski kick, because I’m back on the JIMMY’S POTPOURRI radio show this Sunday 9AM-Noon Pacific where I’ll be playing live recordings I made at some of Charles Bukowski’s L.A. haunts. PLUS: recordings of Bukowski reading, the band Wicked Saints live in studio, host James Gautier’s surrealism, Derek Reynolds’ killer rare music you won’t hear elsewhere, and much more…. Listen from anywhere Sunday live online at www.killradio.org

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Bukowski Poetry Generator
September 21, 2012 9:15 am

I built this little toy years ago, and it still cracks me up—a poetry generator that draws upon the vocabulary and syntax culled from works of Charles Bukowski. The generator can emulate Bill Gates or your average joe too, but the Bukowski ones are my favorites. Here’s one it made today (capitalization & punctuation added afterward):

Losing, she breathes through dogs
like shriveled dictators lapping,
the high heels,
tongues swatting cautiously I am
of the rundown Dickens——
    she is divorcing blue,
or a scroll cumming,
flakes are mumbling orgasms;
could I utter inward, a snake,
or whack these cloven singers?
Cumming they are,
guzzling when they're around, a shakey aroma,
watching . . .

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Ice Shoes from Last Night’s Show
September 15, 2012 9:08 am

Scotch Wichmann doesn’t always do performance art, but when he does, he does it wearing ice shoes. I skated out onto stage wearing these beauties during last night’s Ice Fish Fur show, and they were slippery as hell—thank god I was sober. I was able to hold out for almost 2 minutes before my toes went numb—not bad! See them in action on YouTube. Shoes sculpted by KayDee Kersten.

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Back On the Radio This Sunday 9AM-Noon
September 6, 2012 9:43 pm

I’ll be doing some bits on JIMMY’S POTPOURRI underground LA radio show again this Sun., 9am-noon. My SOUNDS OF LA segment is back with jazz recordings I made this week on the streets of downtown LA, plus tune in for eclectic tracks, interviews, poetry, & more! With James Gautier and Derek Reynolds, plus special guest, poet & performer Brooke Jean. Will stream live at killradio.org — see you there!

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New ICE, FISH, FUR Performance at HIGHWAYS Fri. Sept 14
September 3, 2012 3:44 pm

Come catch my new performance art work ICE, FISH, FUR at HIGHWAYS in Santa Monica Friday, September 14, where I’ll be doing unspeakable acts with ice, fish, and fur (how ever did you guess?) in a surreal, linguistically limber, and painfully autobiographical piece about murder, madness, ancestry, magic, and more….

This is part of Solo Dolo, an evening of new solo works that’ll also feature Philip Littell, Megan Therese Rippey, and Johnny Ray (who looks like he *might* be doing something wild with mud or some other amazing slop–I can’t quite tell from his photo, but I’m sure it’s going to kick ass!!!).

If (1) it’s been awhile since you’ve seen performance art, (2) you’ve never seen it, or (3) you never want to see it again (but you can’t help yourself because you crave it like an auto accident lookie loo), then this is for you, served fresh on a golden platter (or more likely, a honey-drenched hunk of leather plastered to the side of my face). Ah yes, I like to think of Highways as the West Coast’s Carnegie Hall of experimental live performance, so don’t miss this chance to see bloody fresh solo works for only $10 before they tour the 2013-2014 fringe festival circuit.

The Solo Dolo show at HIGHWAYS. 8:30PM. Tickets $10 online or at the door (show may sell out, so I’d recommend buying online). 1651 18th Street, Santa Monica, CA (1/2 block north of Olympic).

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On Underground Radio This Sunday at 9AM PDT
August 24, 2012 11:17 am

Catch me this Sun. 9AM-12 PDT on JIMMY’S POTPOURRI, L.A.’s #1 eclectic underground Internet radio show featuring James Gautier w/Derek Reynolds & the Zuu Crew. Hear interviews I recorded this week of artists living and working on the streets of downtown L.A., learn how to promote yourself online for free if you don’t have a website, plus hear genius music, comedy, poetry, & more. Live at killradio.org. UPDATE: THE SHOW ROCKED. Will post the podcast of it soon. Will be back on the air on Sept. 9!

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A Little Psychic Surgery
August 6, 2012 10:23 pm

The full 5-minute video footage of “Seed” — my psychic-surgery-with-citrus performance I unveiled in Ventura last month — is finally up on YouTube.  I had no idea a grapefruit could make sounds like that….

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Come Watch My Seed
July 4, 2012 10:33 am


Is our “twitterization” making us spill more details than we should? Have we exchanged our interior voices for external ones? Are we becoming masters of telling at the expensive of showing? Come find out this Friday when I unveil Seed, my new performance art work with citrus, surreal psychic brain rewiring and more! Fri. July 6, 2012, 8PM at the Sylvia White Gallery in Ventura, CA. FREE! Let’s operate!

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